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[[pl: Anal+]]
'''Anal+''' - television network founded ny [[Dr. Owsik Foundation]], managed by [[Anal+ Owsikville S.R.A]].
'''Anal+''' - television network founded ny [[Dr. Owsik Foundation]], managed by [[Anal+ Owsikville S.R.A]].
[[File:LogoAnalPlus.png|200px|thumb|right|Logo]]
[[File:LogoAnalPlus.png|200px|thumb|right|Logo]]
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* Cinema - basics + movie channels.
* Cinema - basics + movie channels.


==Kanały==
==Channels==


===Podstawowe===
===Basics===
* Anal+ 1 - wszystko w jednym, czasem coś ciekawego poleci ale no.
* Anal+ 1 - all in one, sometimes they'll air something cool, but yeah
* Anal+ 2 - to samo co 1.
* Anal+ 2 - same as 1
* Anal+ News Flash - krótkie programy informacyjne, przedsmak dla pakietu Propaganda.
* Anal+ News Flash - short news
* Anal+ Soft Porn - przedsmak dla Ultra Sex.
* Anal+ Soft Porn - do i have to say more?
* Anal+ GPlay - filmiki Minecraft GPlay'a, przedsmak dla Gejmer.
* Anal+ GPlay - MinecraftGPlay<ref>Polish Minecraft youtuber, used to make cool mod review videos, nowadays he makes brainrot shit</ref> videos 24/7! Perfect for young gamers!
* Anal+ Tureckie Gnioty - tureckie gnioty 24/7, przedsmak dla Kinomaniak.
* Anal+ Tureckie Gnioty - Turkish series<ref>those are incredibly popular in Poland, as they air in public TV. and, in fact, they are very popular within old people.</ref> 24/7. Perfect for grandmas!


===Pornografia===
===Porn===
* Anal+ Vanilla Porn - standardowe pornole, nic ciekawego.
* Anal+ Vanilla Porn - standard porn, nothing interesting.
* Anal+ Hardcore - hardkorowe porno dla śmiałków!
* Anal+ Hardcore - hardcore porn for brave people!
* Anal+ Hentai - wszelakie hentaice i inny syf.
* Anal+ Hentai - all kinds of hentai, rule34, etc.
* Anal+ BDSM - sesje BDSM na żywo.
* Anal+ BDSM - live BDSM sessions.


===Informacyjne===
===Informacyjne===
* Anal+ News - pełne wiadomości 24/7.
* Anal+ News - full-blown news 24/7.
* Anal+ Meteor - wiadomości pogodowe.
* Anal+ Meteor<ref>this is a pun refering to old, nowadays nonexistent, Polish weather station - TVN Meteo</ref> - weather forecasts.
* Anal+ Propaganda - wiadomości propagandowe z Korei Północnej.
* Anal+ Propaganda - news straight from North Korea!
* Anal+ Bis - s t o n k s
* Anal+ Bis - s t o n k s


===Gry===
===Gaming===
* Anal+ E-szprot - rozgrywki e-sportowe z Owsikville.
* Anal+ E-szprot<ref>deformed E-Sport</ref> - Owsikville e-sports games.
* Anal+ Hugo - Hugo 24/7! Nie wrócił do Polsatu tylko do nas!
* Anal+ Hugo - Hugo 24/7! He didn't return to Polsat, instead he returned to us!
* Anal+ Live - lajwy z gier.
* Anal+ Live - livestreams
* Anal+ Telegra - gówno typu zagadkowa wyspa.
* Anal+ Telegra - those scam TV games where you have to call <del>and you never succeed at it</del>


===Filmowe===
===Filmowe===
* Anal+ Wideło 1 - różnej maści filmy.
* Anal+ Wideło<ref>deformed Video</ref> 1 - all kinds of movies
* Anal+ Wideło 2 - to samo co 1.
* Anal+ Wideło 2 - same as 1
* Anal+ Chińskie bajki - ciągłe anime.
* Anal+ Chińskie bajki<ref>eng. Chinese Cartoons</ref> - anime.
* Anal+ Seriale - hity pokroju Klanu, Ojca Mateusza itd.
* Anal+ Seriale - hits like Klan, Ojciec Mateusz etc.


==Programy==
==Programs==
Anal+, jak każda sieć, ma własne programy. Oto niektóre z nich.
Anal+, like any TV network, have it's own programs. Here are some of them.


* '''Łapu-Srapu''' - program przedstawiający wpadki w toaletach i nie tylko.
* '''Łapu-Srapu'''<ref>deformed Łapu-Capu, a Polish Canal+ program where they shown mistakes and oopsies from live TV</ref> - program that shows toilet oopsies and more.
* '''Chłopaki nie walą''' - dramat przedstawiający życie ludzi próbujących odwyku od walenia konia.
* '''Chłopaki nie walą'''<ref>deformed Chłopaki nie płaczą, a Polish comedy. Also, "nie walą" is refering to sentence "walić konia", literally "beating horse", which in Polish means the same thing as "beating your meat"</ref> - drama showing life of people trying to quit masturbation.
* '''Wszystko gnije''' - off-owa komedia przedstawiająca obsesje na punkcie jedzenia zgnilizny.
* '''Wszystko gnije'''<ref>eng. Everything Rots. i don't remember what show this referenced.</ref> - comedy showing obsession with eating rotten stuff.
* '''Księżniczka Brzoskwinia i Dr. Owsik''' - serial dla dzieci przedstawiający przygody Księżniczki Brzoskwini wraz z jej kochankiem, Dr. Owsikiem.
* '''Księżniczka Brzoskwinia i Dr. Owsik'''<ref>eng. Princess Peach and Dr. Owsik. "Peach" used here literally, as in fruit.</ref> - a kids show, showing adventures of Princess Peach with her boyfriend, Dr. Owsik.  
* '''YandereDev Hot Sex Tape''' - program prowadzony od założenia Anal+ w 2071, puszczany jedynie po północy gorący pornos z YandereDevem.
'''YandereDev Hot Sex Tape''' - program produced since establishment of Anal+ in 2071, aired only after midnight hot porn tape with YandereDev.


==Jak odbierać==
==How to receive==
Anal+ operuje jedynie na terenie Owsikville. Do odbioru potrzebny jest specjalny dekoder z napędem na chomika i talerz z kuchni z anteną. Takowy dekoder można uzyskać pod uniwersalnym numerem wszystkich organizacji Fundacji: 0700 880 717.
Anal+ is available only in Owsikville. To receive it, you need a special set-top box powered by a hamster nad using kitchen dish with an antenna. You can order such box by calling the universal Dr. Owsik Foundation phone number: 0700 880 717<ref>this phone number is referenced all around the Owsikverse, and it's actually old, now (AFAIK) defunct line where you could order some bitches. Literally.</ref>
<!-- do we need this? {{youtube|Qz77mjF8MMw|Reklama dekoderów Anal+}}-->


{{youtube|Qz77mjF8MMw|Reklama dekoderów Anal+}}
With such box you'll get a key, required to decrypt the channels. Depending on your package, it will be colored:
 
* orange - Full
Do dekodera dodawany jest kluczyk, wymagany do dekodowania kanałów. W zależności od pakietu będzie on mieć kolor:
* black - Pro
* pomarańczowy - pakiet Full
* white - Bieda
* czarny - pakiet Pro
* pink - Ultra Sex
* biały - pakiet Bieda
* red - Propaganda
* różowy - pakiet Ultra Sex
* green - Gaymer
* czerwony - pakiet Propaganda
* blue - Cinema
* zielony - pakiet Gejmer
* niebieski - pakiet Kinowy


==References==
==References==

Latest revision as of 09:52, 27 July 2024

Anal+ - television network founded ny Dr. Owsik Foundation, managed by Anal+ Owsikville S.R.A.

Logo

History

In year 2071 YandereDev, after a long anal sex session with his sex doll, had this idea from his ass to make a television station called Anal+. Since he has good contacts with Dr. Owsik, Yan'Dev asked the Foundation for help. Dr. Owsik is a big fan of YandereDev, so he happily helped him out with his idea.

How the first Anal+ transmitter looked

Dr. Owsik Foundation sent it's minions to the newly established Anal+ Owsikville S.R.A to record programs for the station, and Dr. Owsik Corporation produced a keyed set-top boxes (because Anal+ is encrypted, you need to pay to watch it) and after building a transmitter from modded OwsikStation 69 console, copper wires, dish (from kitchen), gas powered furnace, washing machine, abacus, Commodore monitor, tape recorder, VCR and mouse, the station broadcasted it's first program, that being 5 hour block of porn featuring YandereDev.

Packages

Anal+ channels are available in various packages. They are crafted in a way that they meet needs and interests of all viewers. Current Anal+ packages are:

  • Full - most expensive, includes all Anal+ channels!
  • Pro - Basic Anal+ channels, and the best ones from all other categories. Most popular.
  • Bieda[1] - only the basic channels.
  • Ultra Sex - basic channels + porn
  • Propaganda - basics + news
  • Gaymer - basics + gaming channels!
  • Cinema - basics + movie channels.

Channels

Basics

  • Anal+ 1 - all in one, sometimes they'll air something cool, but yeah
  • Anal+ 2 - same as 1
  • Anal+ News Flash - short news
  • Anal+ Soft Porn - do i have to say more?
  • Anal+ GPlay - MinecraftGPlay[2] videos 24/7! Perfect for young gamers!
  • Anal+ Tureckie Gnioty - Turkish series[3] 24/7. Perfect for grandmas!

Porn

  • Anal+ Vanilla Porn - standard porn, nothing interesting.
  • Anal+ Hardcore - hardcore porn for brave people!
  • Anal+ Hentai - all kinds of hentai, rule34, etc.
  • Anal+ BDSM - live BDSM sessions.

Informacyjne

  • Anal+ News - full-blown news 24/7.
  • Anal+ Meteor[4] - weather forecasts.
  • Anal+ Propaganda - news straight from North Korea!
  • Anal+ Bis - s t o n k s

Gaming

  • Anal+ E-szprot[5] - Owsikville e-sports games.
  • Anal+ Hugo - Hugo 24/7! He didn't return to Polsat, instead he returned to us!
  • Anal+ Live - livestreams
  • Anal+ Telegra - those scam TV games where you have to call and you never succeed at it

Filmowe

  • Anal+ Wideło[6] 1 - all kinds of movies
  • Anal+ Wideło 2 - same as 1
  • Anal+ Chińskie bajki[7] - anime.
  • Anal+ Seriale - hits like Klan, Ojciec Mateusz etc.

Programs

Anal+, like any TV network, have it's own programs. Here are some of them.

  • Łapu-Srapu[8] - program that shows toilet oopsies and more.
  • Chłopaki nie walą[9] - drama showing life of people trying to quit masturbation.
  • Wszystko gnije[10] - comedy showing obsession with eating rotten stuff.
  • Księżniczka Brzoskwinia i Dr. Owsik[11] - a kids show, showing adventures of Princess Peach with her boyfriend, Dr. Owsik.

YandereDev Hot Sex Tape - program produced since establishment of Anal+ in 2071, aired only after midnight hot porn tape with YandereDev.

How to receive

Anal+ is available only in Owsikville. To receive it, you need a special set-top box powered by a hamster nad using kitchen dish with an antenna. You can order such box by calling the universal Dr. Owsik Foundation phone number: 0700 880 717[12]

With such box you'll get a key, required to decrypt the channels. Depending on your package, it will be colored:

  • orange - Full
  • black - Pro
  • white - Bieda
  • pink - Ultra Sex
  • red - Propaganda
  • green - Gaymer
  • blue - Cinema

References

  1. ↑ eng. Poverty
  2. ↑ Polish Minecraft youtuber, used to make cool mod review videos, nowadays he makes brainrot shit
  3. ↑ those are incredibly popular in Poland, as they air in public TV. and, in fact, they are very popular within old people.
  4. ↑ this is a pun refering to old, nowadays nonexistent, Polish weather station - TVN Meteo
  5. ↑ deformed E-Sport
  6. ↑ deformed Video
  7. ↑ eng. Chinese Cartoons
  8. ↑ deformed Łapu-Capu, a Polish Canal+ program where they shown mistakes and oopsies from live TV
  9. ↑ deformed Chłopaki nie płaczą, a Polish comedy. Also, "nie walą" is refering to sentence "walić konia", literally "beating horse", which in Polish means the same thing as "beating your meat"
  10. ↑ eng. Everything Rots. i don't remember what show this referenced.
  11. ↑ eng. Princess Peach and Dr. Owsik. "Peach" used here literally, as in fruit.
  12. ↑ this phone number is referenced all around the Owsikverse, and it's actually old, now (AFAIK) defunct line where you could order some bitches. Literally.
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