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Utworzono nową stronę "'''OwsikStation''' - seria konsol gier wideo produkowana przez Dr. Owsik Corporation ==OwsikStation 69== thumb|prawo|Logo OwsikStation 69 {{youtube|cRB_DB2QOvE|Reklama OwsikStation 69}} Pierwsza konsola z serii. Ze względu na specyfikację i możliwości, jakimi dysponowała, egzemplarze szybko znikały z półek przez gimbusów pragnących doświadczyć przygód z własną waifu, oraz przez madki chcące zrobić swoim pociechom pr…"
 
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'''OwsikStation''' - seria konsol gier wideo produkowana przez [[Dr. Owsik Corporation]]
[[pl:OwsikStation]]
'''OwsikStation''' - line of video game consoles produced by [[Dr. Owsik Corporation]] with a rich history.


==OwsikStation 69==
== OwsikStation 69 ==
[[Plik:OwsikStation69.png|thumb|prawo|Logo OwsikStation 69]]
[[File:OwsikStation69.png|thumb|right|OwsikStation 69 logo]]
{{youtube|cRB_DB2QOvE|Reklama OwsikStation 69}}
{{youtube|cRB_DB2QOvE|OwsikStation 69 commercial (in Polish)}}
Pierwsza konsola z serii. Ze względu na specyfikację i możliwości, jakimi dysponowała, egzemplarze szybko znikały z półek przez gimbusów pragnących doświadczyć przygód z własną waifu, oraz przez madki chcące zrobić swoim pociechom prezent na komunię.  
First console in the series. Because of it's technical specifications and features, units were flying off the shelves because of highschool cringelords wanting to experience "adventures" with their waifus, and because of Karens wanting to give their whipsters a communion gift.
===Funkcje===
=== Features ===
Zawiera to co musi mieć każdy <s>gimbus</s> gracz na świecie, czyli:  
The console has everything all <s>cringelords</s> real gamers worldwide need, that being:
* Integracja ze Steam
* integration with Steam
* Członkostwo w JP Armii
* a membership in ACAB Army
* fałszywa tożsamość na FB
* fake identity on FB
* fapfoldery i fanfiki otaku
* fapfolders and otaku fanfics
* Rozwinięta technologia VR pozwalająca dotknąć bimbałów w grach
* high-tech VR support allowing you to touch b00bies in games
===Przykładowe gry===
=== Games ===
Na OwsikStation 69 jest tyle gier, że próba wymienienia ich wszystkich tutaj zakończyłaby się zapchaniem serwera. Oto kilka najpopularniejszych produkcji:
There are so many games for OwsikStation 69, that trying to list them all would overload the server. The most popular titles include:
* '''Kontener Strajk - Globalna Ofensywa''' - '''HIT!''' Rewolucyjna i rewelacyjna strzelanka uwielbiana przez gimbusów z całego świata!
* '''Container Strike - Globe Offensive''' - '''HIT!''' Revolutionary FPS that's loved by all cringelords, Russians, gamblers etc. worldwide!
* '''Poldek Driver''' - bardzo znana i lubiana gra wyścigowa, teraz na Owsikstation.
* '''Poldek Driver'''<ref>Poldek Driver actually exists, and it's a very crappy Polish racing game where you race in Polonez cars.</ref> - well known and loved racing game, now for OwsikStation.
* '''Lost Silver''' - gra horror + RPG. Nie pokazuje ona wszystkich mozliwości graficznych sprzętu, ale ma wysokie recenzje.
* '''Lost Silver''' - a combination of a horror game and a RPG. Doesn't show the console's graphical power well, but has very good reviews.
* '''Sonic The Hedgehog 4''' - Pierwsza gra z Soniciem na tej Konsoli, zapierdalaj ile wlezie z Soniciem
* '''Sonic The Hedgehog 4''' - First Sonic game ever released on this console, run fast as fuck for as long as you want with Sonic.
* '''Super Stalin Comrades''' - biegnij w prawo, wprowadzaj komunizm i uratuj księżniczkę przed kapitalizmem.
* '''Super Stalin Comrades''' - go right, introduce communism and save the princess from evil capitalism.
* '''Piesek Leszek i BitTorrent''' - przygodówka point-and-click dla najmłodszych opowiadająca o skarbie piratów.
* '''Piesek Leszek i BitTorrent'''<ref>this refers to a real Polish point-and-click adventure game for kids - Reksio i Skarb Piratów. the entire "Przygody Reksia" series has actually a lot of grown-up fans due to the games' jokes and overall humor, yours truly (Szprink) included.</ref> - a point-and-click adventure game for kids about a pirates' treasure.


==OwsikStation 666==
== OwsikStation 666 ==
[[Plik:OwsikStation666.png|thumb|prawo|Logo OwsikStation 666]]
[[File:OwsikStation666.png|thumb|right|OwsikStation 666 logo]]
666-bitowa konsola gier wideo, w której poprawiono wiele funkcji z poprzedniej odsłony, wnosząc nowe.  
666-bit video game console, in which a lot of features from the previous console were improved, and new ones were introduced.  
===Funkcje===
=== New features ===
* Możliwość komunikacji intergalaktycznej z kosmitami. Od teraz możesz kopać diaxy z Marsjankami!
* Support for intergalactic communications. Now you can mine diamonds with aliens!
* Wsparcie dla łączności LAN poprzez sznurek.
* Support for LAN connections powered by rope.
* Wsteczna kompatybilność z grami na OwsikStation 69!
* Backwards compatibility with OwsikStation 69 games.
* Przeglądarka internetowa (oparta o NCSA Mosaic).
* A web browser (based on NCSA Mosaic).
===Przykładowe gry===
=== Games ===
* '''Mein Kraft''' - '''HIT!''' Gra mająca korzenie jeszcze w III Rzeszy, polegająca na kopaniu i stawianiu kloców. Możliwość kopania diaxów!
* '''Mein Kraft''' - '''HIT!''' Game that was originally developed in the 3rd Reich, in which you mine and place blocks. You can mine diamonds in this one!
* '''Hong Kong 97''' - Genialna gra od małych Chińczyków dla małych Europejczyków
* '''Hong Kong 97''' - Amazing game made by little Chinese people for little European people.
* '''Twój Stary The Game''' - wciel się w Twojego Starego i bij syna skurwysyna.
* '''Twój Stary The Game'''<ref>"Twój Stary" is a contemptuous term for "your dad" in Polish</ref> - become Twój Stary and beat the shit out of your bastard son.
* '''Half-Dead''' - wciągająca przygoda Gordona Tasiemca w laboratorium White Mesa.
* '''Half-Dead''' - a addictive action + adventure game about Gordon Tapeworm in the White Mesa laboratory.
* '''Five Nights at Kula's''' - Horror dla najodważniejszych! Spędź 5 nocy jako stróż nocny klopserii Kuli Fuli!
* '''Five Nights at Kula's'''<ref>this is... a reference to a crappy FNaF fangame made by Szprink in primary school...</ref> - Horror game for the bravest! Survive 5 nights as a night guard in Kula Fula's meatballeria!
* '''Haribo Haribo''' - Gra o układaniu żelków Haribo. Połącz 4, a znikną i twój przeciwnik dostaje po ryju.
* '''Haribo Haribo''' - a game about stacking Haribo jellies. Connect four and they'll disappear, with your opponent getting fucked.
* '''Piesek Leszek i UFO Porno''' - Kolejna część z cyklu Przygody Pieska Leszka, ponownie przygodówka dla najmłodszych. Tym razem na podwórku Pieska Leszka pojawiają się kosmici pedofile i musisz ich powstrzymać!
* '''Piesek Leszek i UFO Porno'''<ref>as before, this is a reference to a "Przygody Reksia" game - this time it's "Reksio i UFO"</ref> - another entry in the "Przygody Pieska Leszka" (The Adventures of Piesek Leszek) series, a point-and-click adventure for kids again. This time, Piesek Leszek's place gets raided by evil pedophile aliens and you need to stop them!


==OwsikStation Portable==
== OwsikStation 1986 ==
[[Plik:OSPlogo.png|thumb|prawo|Logo OwsikStation Portable]]
[[File:OwsikStation1986Logo.png|thumb|right|OwsikStation 1986 logo]]
Przenośna konsola OwsikStation, posiadająca dwa ekrany i zajebiste funkcje! Wcale nie zerżnęliśmy dwóch ekranów od Nintendo. Wcale.
Another console in series, in which - again - existing features were improved, as well as new, revolutionary!, ones were added.
[[File:Therac25 Interface.png|thumb|right|Owsikstation 1986 Service Mode]] <!-- i am a awful person -->
=== New features ===
* Support for Internet connections over DVB-T. Now even your grandma can play online!
* Full backwards compatibility with OwsikStation 69 and 666
* Updated web browser, based on Netscape
* Support for using phones produced by [[Owsiajomi]] as controllers. Perfect when you want to play with a friend but you don't have a extra controller!
* Flagstone reader<ref>this is much funnier in Polish, because "flagstone" in Polish is "'''płyta''' chodnikowa", while a CD is "'''płyta''' kompaktowa"...</ref>
* Revolutionary feature that defined this OwsikStation model - JEBUDU-1986 interface, which allows you to hook up a compatibile nuclear reactor and other atomic toys to your console! Thanks to this feature, you can radiate with happiness while playing compatibile titles!


Nie pozywajcie nas plz
A fun fact about OwsikStation 1986 is that it's irreplaceable even in medicine! OS1986 units were used to control Therac radiotherapy machines.


===Funkcje===
=== Games ===
* Jak wyżej wspomniano - dwa ekrany! Dzięki nim gimbusy mogą oglądać dwa hentaie na raz!
* '''Chernobyl Simulator''' - '''HIT!''' Educational game about the Chernobyl incident. It's well known for utilizing the JEBUDU-1986 interface to give the player a radioactiveley realistic experience.! This game won a lot of awards due to it's realism.
* Aparat o rozdzielczości 64x64 do robienia softów i nudesów.
* '''Kukiz Clicker''' - a simple clicker game about a certain Polish politician, who was often called the name of a tool for rubbing countertops and dishes.
* Mikrofon wyjęty z jednej z linii Furbych, idealny do nagrywania dubbingów.
* '''Piesek Leszek i Harry Potter'''<ref>another Reksio reference, this time it's "Reksio i Czarodzieje"</ref> - next entry in "Przygody Pieska Leszka" series, this time Piesek Leszek was sucked into Hogwarts and he needs to fuck up the bad guy from Harry Potter.
* Żydoskop, dzięki któremu można <del>szukać Żydów</del> grać w gry obracając konsolę, a w połączeniu z aparatem również i grać w gry AR.
* '''Mein Kraft 2''' - '''HIT!''' Sequel to Mein Kraft, which was originally released for OwsikStation 666. A DLC called "IndustrialKraft" is available, which is able to utilise the console's revolutionary new feature.  
* Mobilna przeglądarka internetowa, zbudowana na podstawie tej wbudowanej w stare Nokie.
* '''DiscoSzwabsko Kart''' - a racing game where you drive around in wheelchairs while singing songs from the show "Hallo aus Berlin". It supports connecting a steering wheel and a microphone for better experience.
* Obsługa łączności poprzez standard [https://nonsa.pl/wiki/IP_over_Avian_Carriers IP over Avian Carriers]. Od teraz możesz łączyć się z Internetem i grać online za pomocą gołębi pocztowych!
* '''Furry Crossing''' - psychological horror. You move in alone to a town full of furries, fighting capitalism and trying to survive..
* Awatary Uus, wykorzystywane w np. grach online.


===Przykładowe gry===
== OwsikStation Portable ==
* '''Pinwormon F i Pinwormon U''' - '''HIT!''' Jesteś sobie zabłąkanym dzieciakiem co zwiedza świat i łapie jakieś posrane potwory do kulek. Gra w dwóch wersjach, w każdej z nich są inne. Jak chcesz wszystkie to się wymieniaj. Nie masz przyjaciół? To masz problem. 
[[File:OSPlogo.png|thumb|right|OwsikStation Portable logo]]
* '''Super Stalin 3D Country''' - '''HIT!''' kontynuacja serii o Super Stalinie, ta część odbywa się w trzech wymiarach!
Portable OwsikStation console that has two screens and kickass features! We totally didn't copy the idea of two screens from Nintendo. 100% legit.
* '''Owsikdogs''' - kupujesz sobie kundla i się nim opiekujesz.
* '''Pengyou Death''' - żyj (i umieraj) ze swoimi przyjaciółmi. Bieda wersja Simsów, wykorzystuje awatary Uus.
* '''Feniks Wprawo - As Adwokat''' - wciel się w rolę świeżego adwokata Feniksa Wprawo i wygrywaj w sądzie Anny Marii Wesołowskiej.
* '''Warioware Zioło''' - gra, albo bardziej kolekcja mikrogier stworzona przez [[Wario]]. Uwaga - wciąga!


==OwsikStation 1697904==
Please don't sue us.
[[Plik:OwsikStation1697904_CzarneTlo.png|thumb|prawo|Logo OwsikStation 1697904]]
Nowa konsola, która zrewolucjonizowała rynek konsol. W tym modelu pojawiła się funkcja podpięcia mózgu do konsoli, co spowodowało jeszcze większe wzięcie u spermiarzy chcącymi doznać stosunku ze swoimi waifu!


===Funkcje===
=== New features ===
* Jak opisano wyżej, możliwość integracji konsoli z interfejsem mózg-komputer. Od teraz możesz podpiąć swój umysł do konsoli i poczuć klimat jak w prawdziwym życiu!
* As written above - two screens! Thanks to these hardcore, deodorant-bottle loving gooners can watch two hentais at the same time!
* Nowsza, udoskonalona przeglądarka oparta o Mozillę.
* 64x64 camera for taking nude photos.  
* Czytnik kart kredytowych, dzięki któremu możesz przeje*ać cały swój dobytek życiowy na gry lub v-tuberki jeszcze szybciej i łatwiej!
* Microphone, taken from a Furby, perfect for recording fandubs.
* Jewoscope™<ref>again, this serves as a word pun in Polish, but has little sense in English...</ref>, thanks to which you can <del>search for Jews</del> play games by rotating your console, and, combined with the camera, play AR games.
* Mobile web browser, based on old Nokia phones browser.
* Support for connections via the [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IP_over_Avian_Carriers IP over Avian Carriers] standard. Now you can connect to the Internet and play online using carrier pigeons!
* Uus Characters, avatars that can be use in online games for example.


===Przykładowe Gry===
=== Games ===
* '''Among Us 2''' - '''HIT!''' Kontynuacja popularnej wśród gimbazy gry "Among Us", wyprodukowanej przez Epic Games na silniku Scaled Up Software engine (SUS). '''UWAGA! Gra zawiera drip!'''
* '''Pinwormon F i Pinwormon U''' - '''HIT!''' You are a stray kid that's exploring the world and captures some weird ass monsters into balls. Game comes in two variants, each one includes different monsters. If you want them all then you need to trade. You don't have friends? Sucks to be you.
* '''Covid Inc.''' - Symulator zarażania świata taką mało znaną chorobą z lat 2019/2020.
* '''Super Stalin 3D Country''' - '''HIT!''' a epic follow-up of the "Super Stalin" series, this entry takes place in 3D!
* '''Stardew Śmierdzi''' - Symulator farmera mający miejsce w OwsikVille.
* '''Owsikdogs''' - you buy a mongrel and take care of him.
* '''Teleport''' - Jest Sylwester, rok 2020. Wybija północ. Budzisz się w laboratorium Aparatura, słysząc Microsoft Sama mówiącego ci że będziesz coś testować.
* '''Pengyou Death''' - live (or die) with your friends. Poor man's Sims, uses the Uus characters.
* '''Club Owsik''' - Internetowa gra MMORPG dla najmłodszych. Jesteś sobie owsikiem na wyspie owsików, łazisz, zbierasz hajs, meblujesz dupę itd.
* '''Feniks Wprawo - As Adwokat''' - take on the role of fresh attorney Feniks Wprawo<ref>it's a literal translation of "Phoenix Wright" to Polish</ref> and win cases in the court of Anna Maria Wesołowska<ref>a Polish judge, famous for her TV show</ref>.
* '''Warioware Zioło''' - game, or rather a collection of microgames made by [[Wario]]. Warning - it's addictive!


==Anime Store==
== OwsikStation 1697904 ==
Na OwsikStation jest także dostępny całkowicie legalny sklep z anime i mangami "Owsikstation A&M Store". Można tam kupić Hentaie, Yaoi, Yuri, Echii oraz Shotacon.
[[File:OwsikStation1697904_CzarneTlo.png|thumb|right|OwsikStation 1697904 logo]]
New console that revolutionized the gaming market. This model included support for connecting your brain, which caused coomers and gooners wanting to experience sexual interactions with their waifu to be interested in it!


Oprócz tego - na dzień dzisiejszy nie wiadomo o nim nic więcej.
=== New features ===
* As written above, ability to use a brain-computer interface. Now you can hook up your mind to the console and feel it's games like if it was real life!
* Updated, improved web browser, based on Mozilla.
* Credit card reader, which allows you to spend all of your money on games or v-tubers even easier and faster than before!


==Kontrowersje==
=== Games ===
(Prawie) każdy model OwsikStation wydany do tej pory miał jakieś kontrowersje, głównie spowodowane ignorancją błędów posiadaczy konsol. Oto one:
* '''Among Us 2''' - '''HIT!''' Epic follow-up to the highly popular with kids game "Among Us", developed by Epic Games using the Scaled Up Software engine (SUS). '''WARNING! Game contains drip!'''
* 23 września 2108 w Norbyrsku miało miejsce porwanie przez kosmitów użytkownika OwsikStation 69, który zignorował ostrzeżenie w konsoli o psującym się urządzeniu. Ostało się nagranie ekranu pokazanego na konsoli podczas tego incydentu.
* '''Covid Inc.''' - World infection simulator in which you destroy the world using a not very well known disease from 2019/2020.
{{youtube|G3eR66C-tdA|OwsikStation 69 - Wizyta kosmitów}}
* '''Stardew Śmierdzi''' - Farming simulator that takes place in Owsikville.
* Niektóre modele OwsikStation 666 miały wadę fabryczną sprawiającą że w konsoli pojawiał się poważny błąd sprawiający że konsola zmieniała się w starego Macintosha. Wiele konsol jednak tej zmiany nie przetrwało, poniżej widać filmik z takiej sytuacji:
* '''Teleport''' - It's New Years Eve, year 2020. Midnight hits. You wake up in a laboratory called Aparatura<ref>Aperture translated to Polish</ref>, hearing Microsoft Sam telling you that you will be testing something.
{{youtube|wxaWjRIjp9c|OwsikStation 666 - stary Macintosh}}
* '''Club Owsik''' - Online MMORPG for kids. You are a pinworm on a pinworm island, you walk around, collect money, decorate your ass etc.
* Jedna partia konsol OwsikStation 1697904 posiadała problem zwany YandereDev Apparition. Mianowicie, po włączeniu konsoli 30 czerwca o godzinie 3:00 wyskakiwał błąd, którego zignorowanie kończyło się pojmaniem użytkownika przez YandereDev'a i uszkodzeniem konsoli poprzez zalanie nasieniem. Ponownie - ostało się nagranie ekranu.
 
== Anime Store ==
There is also a 100% legal store with anime and mangas called "Owsikstation A&M Store" available on OwsikStation consoles. Here you can buy Hentais, Yaois, Ecchis and Shotacons.
 
Besides that - not much is known about it.
 
== Issues ==
With (almost) all OwsikStation models, there were cases that somebody had problems. Of course, they were never fault of the console's manufacturer, rather they were fault of their users, to be more specific their ignorance. Here they are, let them serve as a warning.
* On September 23th, 2108 in Norbyrsk, a incident had place where a user of OwsikStation 69 got abducted by aliens, because he ignored hardware malfunction warnings displayed by the console. A screen recording from the console was recovered after the incident.
{{youtube|G3eR66C-tdA|OwsikStation 69 - Alien's visit}}
* Some OwsikStation 666 models had a defect that caused the consoles to fail, and, if not turned off, eventually convert to old Macintoshes in order to survive. Unfortunately, lots of consoles did not survive the conversion attempt, a video of this has surfaced as well.
{{youtube|wxaWjRIjp9c|OwsikStation 666 - old Macintosh}}
* A batch of OwsikStation 1697904 consoles had a serious problem nicknamed "YandereDev Apparition". When you turned on your console on June 30th at 3:00 AM, a error would be displayed that, when ignored, would end up in the user being kidnapped by YandereDev and the console getting destroyed with cum. Again - a screen recording has been recovered.
* As mentioned before, OwsikStation 1986 consoles were used to control Therac machines. Unfortunately, with the [[wikipedia:Therac-25|Therac-25]] model, the manufacturer decided to ignore Dr. Owsik Foundation's recommencations about not removing hardware safety mechanisms, which caused the machines to start Chernobyl simulation procedure on 6 patients.
{{youtube|e55SzygGHDo|OwsikStation 1697904 - YandereDev Apparition}}
{{youtube|e55SzygGHDo|OwsikStation 1697904 - YandereDev Apparition}}
* W przypadku konsoli OwsikStation Portable sprawa jest ciekawsza - mianowicie gdy konsole te się zepsują, to ze względu na swoją bardzo wysoko rozwiniętą technologię są podatne na zakłócenia ze strony stacji telewizyjnych. Takie zakłócenia mogą skończyć się źle, na przykład wizytą Kluczyka.exe. Taki incydent został odnotowany i jak zawsze ostało się nagranie ekranu.
* In case of OwsikStation Portable systems it's more interesting - these things then broken, due to their highly advanced technology and communication features, are prone to interference from nearby TV stations. Such interferences can end up very badly, for example Kluczyk.exe can come and visit you. As always - a screen recording of this happening has been discovered.
{{youtube|NPcKEL9YGbk|OwsikStation Portable - Kluczyk.exe}}
{{youtube|NPcKEL9YGbk|OwsikStation Portable - Kluczyk.exe}}
== Notes ==
<!-- references (<ref> tags) should appear here -->

Latest revision as of 19:16, 8 June 2025

OwsikStation - line of video game consoles produced by Dr. Owsik Corporation with a rich history.

OwsikStation 69

OwsikStation 69 logo
Load video
YouTube
OwsikStation 69 commercial (in Polish)

First console in the series. Because of it's technical specifications and features, units were flying off the shelves because of highschool cringelords wanting to experience "adventures" with their waifus, and because of Karens wanting to give their whipsters a communion gift.

Features

The console has everything all cringelords real gamers worldwide need, that being:

  • integration with Steam
  • a membership in ACAB Army
  • fake identity on FB
  • fapfolders and otaku fanfics
  • high-tech VR support allowing you to touch b00bies in games

Games

There are so many games for OwsikStation 69, that trying to list them all would overload the server. The most popular titles include:

  • Container Strike - Globe Offensive - HIT! Revolutionary FPS that's loved by all cringelords, Russians, gamblers etc. worldwide!
  • Poldek Driver[1] - well known and loved racing game, now for OwsikStation.
  • Lost Silver - a combination of a horror game and a RPG. Doesn't show the console's graphical power well, but has very good reviews.
  • Sonic The Hedgehog 4 - First Sonic game ever released on this console, run fast as fuck for as long as you want with Sonic.
  • Super Stalin Comrades - go right, introduce communism and save the princess from evil capitalism.
  • Piesek Leszek i BitTorrent[2] - a point-and-click adventure game for kids about a pirates' treasure.

OwsikStation 666

OwsikStation 666 logo

666-bit video game console, in which a lot of features from the previous console were improved, and new ones were introduced.

New features

  • Support for intergalactic communications. Now you can mine diamonds with aliens!
  • Support for LAN connections powered by rope.
  • Backwards compatibility with OwsikStation 69 games.
  • A web browser (based on NCSA Mosaic).

Games

  • Mein Kraft - HIT! Game that was originally developed in the 3rd Reich, in which you mine and place blocks. You can mine diamonds in this one!
  • Hong Kong 97 - Amazing game made by little Chinese people for little European people.
  • Twój Stary The Game[3] - become Twój Stary and beat the shit out of your bastard son.
  • Half-Dead - a addictive action + adventure game about Gordon Tapeworm in the White Mesa laboratory.
  • Five Nights at Kula's[4] - Horror game for the bravest! Survive 5 nights as a night guard in Kula Fula's meatballeria!
  • Haribo Haribo - a game about stacking Haribo jellies. Connect four and they'll disappear, with your opponent getting fucked.
  • Piesek Leszek i UFO Porno[5] - another entry in the "Przygody Pieska Leszka" (The Adventures of Piesek Leszek) series, a point-and-click adventure for kids again. This time, Piesek Leszek's place gets raided by evil pedophile aliens and you need to stop them!

OwsikStation 1986

OwsikStation 1986 logo

Another console in series, in which - again - existing features were improved, as well as new, revolutionary!, ones were added.

Owsikstation 1986 Service Mode

New features

  • Support for Internet connections over DVB-T. Now even your grandma can play online!
  • Full backwards compatibility with OwsikStation 69 and 666
  • Updated web browser, based on Netscape
  • Support for using phones produced by Owsiajomi as controllers. Perfect when you want to play with a friend but you don't have a extra controller!
  • Flagstone reader[6]
  • Revolutionary feature that defined this OwsikStation model - JEBUDU-1986 interface, which allows you to hook up a compatibile nuclear reactor and other atomic toys to your console! Thanks to this feature, you can radiate with happiness while playing compatibile titles!

A fun fact about OwsikStation 1986 is that it's irreplaceable even in medicine! OS1986 units were used to control Therac radiotherapy machines.

Games

  • Chernobyl Simulator - HIT! Educational game about the Chernobyl incident. It's well known for utilizing the JEBUDU-1986 interface to give the player a radioactiveley realistic experience.! This game won a lot of awards due to it's realism.
  • Kukiz Clicker - a simple clicker game about a certain Polish politician, who was often called the name of a tool for rubbing countertops and dishes.
  • Piesek Leszek i Harry Potter[7] - next entry in "Przygody Pieska Leszka" series, this time Piesek Leszek was sucked into Hogwarts and he needs to fuck up the bad guy from Harry Potter.
  • Mein Kraft 2 - HIT! Sequel to Mein Kraft, which was originally released for OwsikStation 666. A DLC called "IndustrialKraft" is available, which is able to utilise the console's revolutionary new feature.
  • DiscoSzwabsko Kart - a racing game where you drive around in wheelchairs while singing songs from the show "Hallo aus Berlin". It supports connecting a steering wheel and a microphone for better experience.
  • Furry Crossing - psychological horror. You move in alone to a town full of furries, fighting capitalism and trying to survive..

OwsikStation Portable

OwsikStation Portable logo

Portable OwsikStation console that has two screens and kickass features! We totally didn't copy the idea of two screens from Nintendo. 100% legit.

Please don't sue us.

New features

  • As written above - two screens! Thanks to these hardcore, deodorant-bottle loving gooners can watch two hentais at the same time!
  • 64x64 camera for taking nude photos.
  • Microphone, taken from a Furby, perfect for recording fandubs.
  • Jewoscope™[8], thanks to which you can search for Jews play games by rotating your console, and, combined with the camera, play AR games.
  • Mobile web browser, based on old Nokia phones browser.
  • Support for connections via the IP over Avian Carriers standard. Now you can connect to the Internet and play online using carrier pigeons!
  • Uus Characters, avatars that can be use in online games for example.

Games

  • Pinwormon F i Pinwormon U - HIT! You are a stray kid that's exploring the world and captures some weird ass monsters into balls. Game comes in two variants, each one includes different monsters. If you want them all then you need to trade. You don't have friends? Sucks to be you.
  • Super Stalin 3D Country - HIT! a epic follow-up of the "Super Stalin" series, this entry takes place in 3D!
  • Owsikdogs - you buy a mongrel and take care of him.
  • Pengyou Death - live (or die) with your friends. Poor man's Sims, uses the Uus characters.
  • Feniks Wprawo - As Adwokat - take on the role of fresh attorney Feniks Wprawo[9] and win cases in the court of Anna Maria Wesołowska[10].
  • Warioware Zioło - game, or rather a collection of microgames made by Wario. Warning - it's addictive!

OwsikStation 1697904

OwsikStation 1697904 logo

New console that revolutionized the gaming market. This model included support for connecting your brain, which caused coomers and gooners wanting to experience sexual interactions with their waifu to be interested in it!

New features

  • As written above, ability to use a brain-computer interface. Now you can hook up your mind to the console and feel it's games like if it was real life!
  • Updated, improved web browser, based on Mozilla.
  • Credit card reader, which allows you to spend all of your money on games or v-tubers even easier and faster than before!

Games

  • Among Us 2 - HIT! Epic follow-up to the highly popular with kids game "Among Us", developed by Epic Games using the Scaled Up Software engine (SUS). WARNING! Game contains drip!
  • Covid Inc. - World infection simulator in which you destroy the world using a not very well known disease from 2019/2020.
  • Stardew Śmierdzi - Farming simulator that takes place in Owsikville.
  • Teleport - It's New Years Eve, year 2020. Midnight hits. You wake up in a laboratory called Aparatura[11], hearing Microsoft Sam telling you that you will be testing something.
  • Club Owsik - Online MMORPG for kids. You are a pinworm on a pinworm island, you walk around, collect money, decorate your ass etc.

Anime Store

There is also a 100% legal store with anime and mangas called "Owsikstation A&M Store" available on OwsikStation consoles. Here you can buy Hentais, Yaois, Ecchis and Shotacons.

Besides that - not much is known about it.

Issues

With (almost) all OwsikStation models, there were cases that somebody had problems. Of course, they were never fault of the console's manufacturer, rather they were fault of their users, to be more specific their ignorance. Here they are, let them serve as a warning.

  • On September 23th, 2108 in Norbyrsk, a incident had place where a user of OwsikStation 69 got abducted by aliens, because he ignored hardware malfunction warnings displayed by the console. A screen recording from the console was recovered after the incident.
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OwsikStation 69 - Alien's visit
  • Some OwsikStation 666 models had a defect that caused the consoles to fail, and, if not turned off, eventually convert to old Macintoshes in order to survive. Unfortunately, lots of consoles did not survive the conversion attempt, a video of this has surfaced as well.
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OwsikStation 666 - old Macintosh
  • A batch of OwsikStation 1697904 consoles had a serious problem nicknamed "YandereDev Apparition". When you turned on your console on June 30th at 3:00 AM, a error would be displayed that, when ignored, would end up in the user being kidnapped by YandereDev and the console getting destroyed with cum. Again - a screen recording has been recovered.
  • As mentioned before, OwsikStation 1986 consoles were used to control Therac machines. Unfortunately, with the Therac-25 model, the manufacturer decided to ignore Dr. Owsik Foundation's recommencations about not removing hardware safety mechanisms, which caused the machines to start Chernobyl simulation procedure on 6 patients.
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OwsikStation 1697904 - YandereDev Apparition
  • In case of OwsikStation Portable systems it's more interesting - these things then broken, due to their highly advanced technology and communication features, are prone to interference from nearby TV stations. Such interferences can end up very badly, for example Kluczyk.exe can come and visit you. As always - a screen recording of this happening has been discovered.
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OwsikStation Portable - Kluczyk.exe

Notes

  1. ↑ Poldek Driver actually exists, and it's a very crappy Polish racing game where you race in Polonez cars.
  2. ↑ this refers to a real Polish point-and-click adventure game for kids - Reksio i Skarb Piratów. the entire "Przygody Reksia" series has actually a lot of grown-up fans due to the games' jokes and overall humor, yours truly (Szprink) included.
  3. ↑ "Twój Stary" is a contemptuous term for "your dad" in Polish
  4. ↑ this is... a reference to a crappy FNaF fangame made by Szprink in primary school...
  5. ↑ as before, this is a reference to a "Przygody Reksia" game - this time it's "Reksio i UFO"
  6. ↑ this is much funnier in Polish, because "flagstone" in Polish is "płyta chodnikowa", while a CD is "płyta kompaktowa"...
  7. ↑ another Reksio reference, this time it's "Reksio i Czarodzieje"
  8. ↑ again, this serves as a word pun in Polish, but has little sense in English...
  9. ↑ it's a literal translation of "Phoenix Wright" to Polish
  10. ↑ a Polish judge, famous for her TV show
  11. ↑ Aperture translated to Polish
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